


I Want You To Stay

by gala_apples



Category: Glee
Genre: Coming Out, M/M, Safe Haven, Sexual Experimentation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-15
Updated: 2013-05-15
Packaged: 2017-12-12 00:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/804894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gala_apples/pseuds/gala_apples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jake comes out to Puck and Finn because their dorm room is a safe space for it, all Puck can think about is making it even more of a gay haven for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want You To Stay

**Author's Note:**

> For Pinn Week, prompt "firsts"

Puck knows what a home is. It’s not always the place you have relatives in. It doesn’t have to be the place that has all your history. It might not hold your bed. And if a person’s being honest with themselves, they know they only have one at a time. A home is the place you need to run to whether or not you actually can when the whole world turns to shit and all you want to do is say fuck it. Deep down everyone has the instinct to run to a single place.

It would be corny as fuck to say his home is Finn. Finn’s not a structure. He does, however, have a tendency to be in Puck’s homes. First the Hudson house. Then, when their friendship started cracking a bit Puck’s home became the Glee room, even if everyone thought he was only there for Quinn. His apartment in LA never qualified, not even for a second. Now he’s got Finn’s dorm room. Puck’s got no idea what he’ll do at the end of May, unless there’s some kind of summer course he can talk Finn into taking, but for now it’s his, and it’s safe.

So when Jake’s text comes in on a Saturday morning, the sort of hideously early that only makes sense when Puck remembers Jake’s mom works shiftwork, and Jake has a rocky sleep schedule that revolves around his Mom’s activity level, saying **can I come over all my friends are still sleeping** Puck recognises the words of a person who just lost their home. He has no idea what happened, but he’s sure he’s right. There are only so many reasons someone needs to bail at four in the morning.

Puck texts back **sure, 206**. Then he puts his foot between the slats and kicks up to get Finn awake enough to pay attention. “We’re gonna have a guest.” 

Finn mumbles something. Puck hopes it’s consent because he’s not about to turn down his brother just because Finn doesn’t want a visitor. About thirty seconds later Finn is snuffling again so Puck has to assume it’s the end of the conversation. Puck rolls over and naps until Jake’s kicking at the door. Puck wonders why for all of ten seconds -the time it takes him to cross the room- and then Jake’s coming in with doughnuts and a cardboard tray of cups and slightly quivering hands.

“It’s hot chocolate. People like coffee in thirty million different weird ways, but everyone likes hot chocolate.” Jake explains, his voice sounding oddly clamped down on, like it’s taking all he has to not sound jittery. 

Puck takes a chocolate glazed doughnut before he tells Jake to get comfortable on the bottom bunk with him. They watch Doctor Who with a jack splitter and two pairs of headphones to keep it quiet for Finn. Puck’s not usually that big on manners, but shutting up while the other person in the room is trying to sleep is something he’s had a handle on since the days of family vacations. They always ended disastrously, but after the first time Puck had to get stitches when he woke up Sarah and she threw the alarm clock at him he learned how to stay silent until everyone was awake, so the disasters wouldn’t always be his fault. Jake’s shrieking during the Weeping Angel episode wakes up Finn momentarily, but Jake’s barely finished apologising before Finn’s back asleep. 

They can finally start talking when Finn’s up for the day, cramming a slightly stale crueller into his mouth with a garbled thanks. Still, Puck vows he won’t ask what happened, just wait until Jake decides to tell. Puck can’t see this becoming Jake’s home, but it can at least be a safe place, and safe and nosy hardly ever go together.

Jake doesn’t leave until the sun starts setting, content to follow them to the cafeteria for lunch and to the library for the book Finn needs. He even follows them into the frat, although Skullie writes NO DRINKS on his arm in whiteboard marker when he finds out he’s sixteen. From dawn until dusk and he doesn’t anything about what brought him running. Puck knows then that whatever it is, it’s serious. Nor does Jake say anything about his reasons the next fifteen times he comes over in the next three weeks. After the first five times Puck has to stop what he’s doing to open the door he spends a few bucks and makes Jake his own key. It’s definitely illegal, but Jake needs it.

Finn’s the one to bring it up. It’s another evening of three roommates. Jake’s in the corner practicing some dance moves for a song he and Kitty and Blaine are doing as Puck tries to scratch out a few more words on his screenplay and Finn’s doing his reading. Puck knows he’s failing miserably, and so is Finn, if the pen he’s gnawing on is any indication. Jake, on the other hand, is working the telephone booth sized space he’s cleared like he’s about to win So You Think You Can Dance.

“Hey, bro.” Puck looks up, somehow sure it’s not him Finn’s trying to get the attention of. Jake doesn’t pay him one whit of attention. “Hey, man.” Still nothing, but Finn’s decided third time’s the charm, and actually uses a pronoun this time. “Hey, Jake!”

Jake comes to a smooth stop, like Finn didn’t startle the life half out of him. “‘sup?”

“Not that you’re not welcome here, but what’s the deal? If that was a triple bunk bed you’d be sleeping here.”

“I didn’t want to have to talk about it, but.”

Puck wants to tell Jake that Finn can fuck off if he doesn’t want to talk, but honestly, Puck’s curiosity has risen with each evening. He can practically taste it in his throat. So he goes for a different, equally reassuring comment. “I promise you, whatever it is, we won’t care. Unless it’s something you want us to care about.” So that wasn’t very smooth. Whatever. Finn’s the one that’s studying how to be eloquent around needy teenagers, not him.

“No, you’re right. I owe you an explanation. I’m crashing here more than I don’t, and I don’t pay rent.”

Finn laughs. “He doesn’t pay rent either. We wanna know, but that’s totally different from saying you have to stop.”

“So basically, I decided to tell my mom as a dry run for telling my friends because I know that would cause epic amounts of drama. I don’t know what Glee was like for you guys, but these days it’s pretty dramatic.”

Puck can’t help himself. He cracks the fuck up. Only the twin glares of his best friend and his brother calm him down enough to talk. “I’m sorry bro. I just, I got his girlfriend pregnant, so the claims of our day was simple is kind of fucking hilarious to me.”

“Okay, point.”

“So you told your mom...”

Puck’s pretty sure Finn means that as a prompt to explain what Jake told her, but he takes it as a prompt continue the circumstance. “Except turns out she’s not so lacking in that area, and every time I think she’d done she’s got something new to say. If I go to my friends houses every day they’ll ask why, and I can’t handle both at once.”

“Okay, cool. Here's a great base. But tell them what?”

“I’m gay.”

“Really?”

Puck picks up his pillow and chucks it at Finn. Really? What the _fuck_. “He doesn’t speak for the both of us.”

“What? I’m not saying it’s bad or anything, I just-. Okay, you’re not like Kurt and Blaine, is what I’m saying. I wouldn’t have guessed.”

“Shit Hudson, really? Neither was Karofsky.”

Finn holds his hands up. “Okay, okay, I take it back. I should have known the whole time.”

If Puck rolled his eyes any harder they’d fall out of their sockets. “Just gonna reiterate, dickwipe does not speak for me.”

“I don’t know what you want from me. I’m just gonna keep finding references for my essay. But, uh, for the record? If it gets bad, you totally can sleep here.”

And now that Finn’s said something, Puck has to follow with his own concerns. “Is it that bad?”

Surely it can’t be that bad, or he’d be staying somewhere else, permanently. Puck won’t offer him his own house, it’s never been his home for a reason, but the Hudmels gave Sam a space when he needed it. Or Jake’s friend Unique. If her parents don’t care about her transgender nature, Puck can’t see why they’d care about Jake’s orientation.

Jake shrugs and heaves himself up to sit on the edge of Finn’s dresser. “It’s not bad bad. She’s not trying to hit the gay out like the last drops from the milk carton. She’s not calling me a fag all the time either. It’s other stuff, like asking if it was because dad wasn’t around. Or apologizing for putting me in ballet, never mind that I’m going to get a dance scholarship like Mike and get out of Ohio. Maybe even the United States. And it’s other stuff too, like not wanting me out of sight if I have guys over. Like Sam would succumb to me when Blaine’s been trying for months with nothing. Or I came home one day and she’d installed safe search on my computer, because porn ‘is a violation of the people in it’, never mind that she never once cared when she thought I was watching girl porn. Basically it’s not brutal at home, but it’s uncomfortable.”

“That sucks, bro. You want a hug?”

Jake smirks. “Not unless you’re gonna burst into tears if you don’t give me one.”

Puck scowls back. “Look, I dunno what you need. I can’t say I know what it’s like to come out.”

“Yeah. But here I can be who I am, which is pretty much exactly what I need, so.”

It bothers Puck. It shouldn’t bother him as much as it does, which is a lot. He doesn’t have to know what Jake’s going through. Jake will tell Blaine when he needs someone with gay experience, just like Sarah’s got her best friend’s older sister for period and make up info. 

Except the difference is Puck could bullshit about menstruation. Between tv, and grocery shopping with tampons on the list, and Brittany getting even hornier when she’s on the rag and him being one of the only guys at McKinley willing to earn red wings, Puck could talk about periods for like twenty minutes if Sarah needed him to. Gay sex, on the other hand... Yeah, he knows gay people, but Kurt and Blaine are essentially the opposite of dirty talking exhibitionists. How the hell is his room supposed to be gay safe if the only thing Puck knows is that dicks go into assholes?

What he’s got to do is get some gay experience. Just enough to get a basis of information. Then he’ll know, and he’ll be able to fine tune this temporary home, and maybe get a third bed for whatever they do next.

Puck doesn’t wait long, just until the next evening that Jake doesn’t show up. He really hopes he’s hanging out with a friend, not subjecting himself to his mom’s shit. But Puck puts the worry out of his mind to drop onto Finn’s lap. Worry is not hot, it’s not seductive, and it’s not gonna get Finn’s pants down. Puck twists his neck until he’s exhaling across the side of Finn’s jaw and says -no, _murmurs_ \- into his ear, “we should have sex.”

“Hahah!”

That’s a no, obviously. Which is fine. Finn was only Puck’s first option, not his only. Puck gets off of him, sprays a bit of cologne and walks into the mist, then kicks his feet into his loose shoes with the broken backs. “Cool then. See you later.”

“Where are you going?”

Puck would have figured it was obvious. But if Finn needs it spelled out in little words, fine. “To find a guy to have sex with.”

“You were serious? _Seriously_?” Finn’s gaping at him, mouth open wide enough to drive a train through.

“I’m not offended that you don’t want your dick sucked. I just gotta find a guy that does.”

“You’re not gay.”

“I’m currently hetero, that doesn’t mean I’m not fluid without knowing yet.” 

Puck says it to make Finn shut up, because Finn’s going to shit all over his plan if he tells him his real motivation. But the second the words are out of his mouth Puck realises there’s some truth to them. Because really, what the fuck does he know? No, he’s never really thought about banging a guy, but he notices when there are other hot guys in the room. It’s always been about sizing up competition, but why not just make out with one of them and see if it gets him going?

Except he doesn’t shut up. If anything Finn seems more disgruntled by Puck’s explanation. “So how do you know I’m not?”

“I didn’t say you weren’t. But you laughed when I asked, so that means I’m gonna go find someone-”

“You found him,” Finn interrupts, pointing at his own chest with both index fingers.

“You changed your mind pretty quick.”

“I would have said yes six months ago if I thought you were serious. You are, so I am.”

Puck wonders if that’s bravado, or if Finn actually has wanted him for a long time. Either way, he doesn’t know if this’ll work for him until he tries it. His head says _yeah, you can totally be with Finn forever, duh_ but it’s really more about if his dick says yes or no. There’s a big difference between blowing a guy for Jake’s sake, and having a reciprocal thing with Finn, a Finn Hudson who’s apparently been hiding desire for a while now.

“We’ll start with making out,” he says. Puck’s a pro at kissing. He agreed to kiss Lauren before he knew that she was amazing, he kissed Susie Pepper that one time, he’s kissed every mom that’s ever wanted to tip him an extra twenty. He should be able to kiss anyone at this point, beside anything incestuous. If he can kiss Susie Pepper, a future psycho, he can kiss a dude.

“Sure. Whatever,” Finn says back, instead of demanding the blowjob Puck brazenly offered.

He straddles Finn’s lap a second time. This time is different because he’s got a knot of worry in his stomach that’s harder to push away. What if this fucks everything up? What if Finn freaks and punches him in the face? Is this how Jake feels all the time, like one wrong move could be the end? How the fuck does he deal?

Well, that, at least, is obvious. Jake comes to room 206 to hide from the rest of the world. And Puck gets the impulse, he really does, but he’s always smothered his fear with aggression and grandiose lies, and nine times out of ten it works out for him. So Puck mentally stomps on the fear, really grinds the sole pattern of his boot into it, and grabs Finn by the neck and plants his first kiss with a dude on him. The first thing he notices is Finn’s lips don’t taste like anything. It’s the first time Puck’s ever kissed skin flavoured lips. Every girl he’s been with has used makeup. Even the unflavoured stuff tastes like wax. 

Finn’s lips part first. After that everything gets a little faster, a little wetter. 

When they finally pull apart Puck’s got a semi and no idea what time it is. He smirks and adjusts himself as subtly as he can, which isn’t very. “I think we can tell my brother this is a gay friendly zone.”

“Dude, it was always a gay friendly zone. Like I’d have a problem with Kurt visiting. It’s now just a flat out gay zone.”

One make out does not an Elton John make, Puck thinks. “I really don’t think-”

“You enjoy that?” Finn asks. Rhetorically, probably, since there’s no way Finn missed the bulge in his pants.

“Yeah.”

“You maybe wanna do it again?”

“Yeah?”

“Then we’re officially gay enough that our room is a gay zone. Even if we do have sex with women sometimes.”

Okay, yeah. Fuck it. 206 can be the gay zone. Why the fuck not?


End file.
